June 20, 2013

Sweet Tea Tuesdays: Remedial Lessons

“All I Ever Really Needed To Know I Learned in Kindergarten”; are you familiar with this classic manual for professionals? Following the past few weeks’ flurry of business events, over-socialization and subsequent people drunkenness, I was prompted to consider summoning my children, yes the children to pen a sequel of remedial lessons for “grown-ups”.

Mayhaps it’s the speed and length of our days, or the magnitude of happenings within the many hours keeping us from maximum sparkle, but adults are in need of polishing, and I say this as not just a spokesperson, but a member of the tribe. I’m not alone in this revelation, as evidenced by my favorite denizens of Facebook. When asked, “What have your children taught you?” These were their responses:

Angela of NM spoke lovingly of her 15 week old yogi Georgia, …”she has totally reformed my perfectionism (out of necessity). She doesn’t care if the house is neat, if her or my clothes are perfectly coordinated, or if the weekend is planned. She lives in the moment and wants the most basic of needs met and that is it.”

Amy in ME added, among many other pertinent lessons, “That trusting them works. That trusting yourself works. …That most of the time it’s best to shut up … and listen. That you have to be healthy and strong so that they are healthy and strong. That there can be such a thing as guidance and boundaries with freedom. That attachment is what they need and want and it doesn’t end at a certain age. …That their opinions and choices are their own. That they can not be spoiled, but parents can be rotten. That they need to be seen and understood and acknowledged.

Will Doctor of NY added,”Choose your words wisely.” Aah yes, succinct is the way to go.

Bek of FL shared a story that filled me with laughter and a bit of embarrassment. Whilst at a doctor’s appointment with her son, Alex, the doctor reported that she’d gained two pounds. Alex was ecstatic, hugged her and said “You are getting bigger now too! Just like me!” He couldn’t understand why she wanted to get smaller. She also added, “Always look on the bright side of life…,the world is a strange place”.

As I read, and re-read these responses, much like the adages of old, their sagacity is timeless. Who amongst us couldn’t use a little less perfectionism, a lot more trust and the discipline of silence where the rights words fail? And wouldn’t it be nice to embrace our ever-growing, changing bodies and minds with the childlike charm and grace? It seems so simple yet so complex. I suspect if simplicity was simpler, we’d all be much better at it. Of course, we could try…go on, you first. I double dog dare you!

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T. Allen-Mercado

T.Allen-Mercado is a mixed media artist, award-winning essayist, student of anthropology, blogger, wife and, mother of two.

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  • http://www.comfortingplace.blogspot.com Barbara

    Hehe, the sweetness is on today. I smiled throughout reading this. It is true, we never stop learning and growing and the possibilities to learn are all around us, even within those little people who are often tugging at out pant legs. I could totally relate to the weight experience. There was a time when my daughter didn’t understand why I would want to be smaller either, and with the introduction of the Jenny Craig commercial added, “well then you should really call Jenny, Mom”, lol.

    • http://teanhoneybread.blogspot.com t. allen-mercado

      Why, thank the children very much, Barbara! Please, ain’t nobody thinkin’ ’bout Jenny! :)
      .-= t. allen-mercado´s last blog ..Random Thought Thursday =-.

  • http://beautyinrareform.blogspot.com Traci

    Thanks for this, it was very enlightening! I honestly believe sometimes that children bless our lives in order to keep our knowledge of the world current. These little beings are so filled with insight – raw, no-holds-barred, insight – that it’s not even funny!

    • http://teanhoneybread.blogspot.com t. allen-mercado

      You’re welcome Traci, and you’re right. Our children come to us intrinsically prepared to groom us as their parents!
      .-= t. allen-mercado´s last blog ..Random Thought Thursday =-.

  • http://athomeinabq.blogspot.com/ Angela

    Wow, Georgia is already is a published article (har, har). I loved reading the other insights as well. Thank you, my dear!
    .-= Angela´s last blog ..A Walk by the Rio Grande =-.

    • http://teanhoneybread.blogspot.com t. allen-mercado

      Yay for Georgia, I look forward to hearing more as you both grow.
      .-= t. allen-mercado´s last blog ..Random Thought Thursday =-.

  • http://www.momontherise.com Kristina Brooke

    Love this! I constantly tell my husband that my daughter teaches me that nothing in life is so bad that a simple hug and smile can’t make it all better. She reminds me that unconditional love is real and perfection is not.

    Seeing the world through a child’s eyes is an amazing gift.
    .-= Kristina Brooke´s last blog ..The Shift to My Niche: Ask Me a Question =-.

    • http://teanhoneybread.blogspot.com t. allen-mercado

      I’m right with you Kristina, my children have dispelled many a myth about this thing called life and the the value of living it to its potential.
      .-= t. allen-mercado´s last blog ..Random Thought Thursday =-.

  • http://www.thencameisaiah.com Tiara

    I love this! After my brother passed, my son’s innocence and perspective really pulled us through. He would constantly ask where Uncle Tommy was and we struggled for awhile to find the answer – he would just conclude – “Uncle Tommy is in Brooklyn” which is where he lived. Finally, I said, “No, baby, Uncle Tommy is in heaven.” Now when we are talking about him or when he sees a picture – he smiles widely and says “Uncle Tommy is in heaven.” We aren’t deeply religious but the fact that he just accepts that there is a place called heaven and Tommy is there sums it up in such perfect wrapping paper. What an amazing blessing these little people are!
    .-= Tiara´s last blog ..Why the hell are you so mad? =-.

    • http://teanhoneybread.blogspot.com t. allen-mercado

      I’m sorry to read of your brother’s passing, Tiara. I appreciate you sharing your son’s perspective. I imagine I’ll look back at this post fondly for support when my time comes.
      .-= t. allen-mercado´s last blog ..Random Thought Thursday =-.

  • http://FACEBOOK MARILYN FORD

    U KNOW WHAT I LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN ? IM NOT ALWAYS RIGTH.JUST BECAUSE IM MOM AND I LEARNED HOW TO TELL MY SORRY IF I HURT THEIR FEELING. ITS REALLY IMPORTANT 4 THEIR WELL BEING.

  • http://teanhoneybread.blogspot.com t. allen-mercado

    Learning to say you’re sorry and mean it, is a priceless lesson, indeed. Good for you, Marilyn.
    .-= t. allen-mercado´s last blog ..Random Thought Thursday =-.