February 23, 2012

Jay-Z’s Respect: Too Little too Late

EDIT: The reports that Jay-Z has decided to remove the word from his vocabulary are false. I am not surprised!

Jay-Z is no longer going using the word “bitch” in his songs because the birth of his and Beyonce’s daughter has catapulted him into reflection making the 43 year old man-child realize the error of his ways. Cue the sappy music and “aws” because we are witnessing pure love.

All of those waiting in the wings to call me a hater, your cries fall on deaf ears. I have high expectations and I refuse to bow down to the undeserving. And Jay-Z is undeserving!

Is our community so devoid of positivity that we must praise an act of “duh” without being honest with ourselves?

I’m buying it as much as I bought Tupac’s Dear Mama and I’m calling it what it is: too little too late. One act does not make up for a lifetime of cultural damage. It does not heal the millions of women hurt because his music influenced some boys/men to objectify, belittle, and ridicule them. His career, his money, everything he will be able to provide to his little girl was built on the genitalia of the women he’s degraded.

If a man cannot respect his own mother cannot respect his wife he CANNOT truly respect his daughter.

Remember, Jay-z CHOSE to use this word repeatedly. He’s not an addict who got clean because his child was born. He’s a man who chose to disrespect his mother, his wife, and all the other daughters in the world with a word. A despicable word.

Loud applause? I think not! I’ll reserve my applause for black men advocating positive change in a real way because when we examine the basics, Jay-z’s actions are watered down and nothing more than a publicity stunt.

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Kristina Daniele

Kristina, Founder and Oz of We of Hue is one of many doing it across hues-homeschooling, wifing, mothering, and business building. She is a web designer and social media consultant with a love of building communities on line. She looks forward to intelligent conversation that is eye-opening and statement-making.

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  • Denene Millner

    I wouldn’t call you a hater; you certainly have the right to your opinion and you make very valid points—some of with which I agree. But our post on MyBrownBaby was absolutely about honesty and one man’s perspective on how the birth of a child—a girl—to a first-time father can have a profound effect on some men, even if they are celebrities, even if they have a sordid past. Our post was not about excusing Jay-Z’s lyrics and the stereotypical images he painted of women; it was, at its base, about our writer’s observation that while we chastise, it’s also worthy to note evolution. Maturity. Change. #Respect for your opinion.

    Denene

    • http://www.kristinabrooke.org Kristina Daniele

      Denene- thanks for commenting. I understand the praise of growth and the
      changes that come about once becoming a parent- really I do. But
      Chiles’ post comes across as yet another praise of delayed maturity. It
      doesn’t take a revelation to realize that the word bitch is derogatory!

      If 
      Jessie Helms suddenly denounced his views when alive because his
      grandchild was half black, would that be OK? Would we applaud him or
      would we call a spade a spade?

      • Denene Millner

        Actually, history is full of people who took some really hard-line positions on feminism, race, religion, stereotypes, etc., and, with growth, maturity and a dose of reality in their own lives, grew to think differently. I’m not saying that you forget their once hard-line stances, but it is okay to take note of their growth and the actions they took because of it—however they came to that growth. And maybe it didn’t take a revelation for you to realize that the “b” word is derogatory, but there are plenty others who need to be shown the light (women included. Do you know how many times during the course of an hour the ladies on reality TV call each other “bitch”? It’s disgusting.) Not everyone is as enlightened as you and I (but oh how I wish they were). 
        BTW: Chiles is my husband, Nick. And, respectfully, he’s not praising delayed maturity. He’s understanding as a man and father of daughters how one’s thinking changes with the birth of your own girls—coming from a place of experience.

        • http://www.kristinabrooke.org Kristina Daniele

          Yes you are right about people changing their stance – it deserves  acknowledgment but not necessarily praise. 

          What I realize in discussing this with you is that while the intention of Nick’s article was to discus the change that comes with parenthood what comes across is something different hence my comment about praise for delayed maturity.
          I agree with your husband that the word would have still been used had he not have used it- he is not the root of this. But Jay-Z’s relationship with Beyonce is one of the most cherished amongst our community and yet his continued use of the word even after they married seems to negate the union and the respect he has for his wife. In essence he is saying that little girls are sacred but once they become women they are not.Actions speak louder than words and so I wonder how he is going to help repair the damage done? The behavior that he helped to cultivate?

          • Denene Millner

            Great question! Only he can say. I’m glad that he’s starting the journey, though. 

  • http://twitter.com/boissuq bois suq

    It’s never too late… we have to start impacting change somewhere.  The sad reality is that some men refer to their mothers and wives as bitches… so if it takes holding his daughter and seeing her look into his eyes to see he needs to make a change… then I say, it was right on time.  Hopefully other men, both young and old will reassess, and women will begin to realize that there is no reason to let a man demean our worth with words. 

    • http://www.kristinabrooke.org Kristina Daniele

      Yes, it is a good thing that he reassessed it’s just not worthy of praise and applauding.

  • http://www.kristinabrooke.org Kristina Daniele

    Denene- thanks for commenting. I understand the praise of growth and the changes that come about once becoming a parent- really I do. But Chiles’ post comes across as yet another praise of delayed maturity. It doesn’t take a revelation to realize that the word bitch is derogatory!

    If  Jessie Helms suddenly denounced his views when alive because his grandchild was half black, would that be OK? Would we applaud him or would we call a spade a spade?

  • http://www.kristinabrooke.org Kristina Daniele

    Denene- thanks for commenting. I understand the praise of growth and the changes that come about once becoming a parent- really I do. But Chiles’ post comes across as yet another praise of delayed maturity. It doesn’t take a revelation to realize that the word bitch is derogatory!

    If  Jessie Helms suddenly denounced his views when alive because his grandchild was half black, would that be OK? Would we applaud him or would we call a spade a spade?

  • Shelly

    I really don’t give a flip. I like Jay-Z’s music as is but taking the word bitch out of his songs mean nothing now. So you have a baby girl. What does that say about the other females in his life? Calling a woman a bitch was okay then? Eh whatever…. 

    • http://www.kristinabrooke.org Kristina Daniele

      This is what I am having trouble understanding Shelly. I just don’t get the thinking! Really, I don’t!

  • Lorri

    What you put into the world, you get out. Let’s wait and see what his beautiful little girl has to experience in the world as a result of the culture he helped to foster.

    • http://www.kristinabrooke.org Kristina Daniele

      Agreed!